“I only date Black,” said British-Nigerian actor John Boyega.
who knew that four words in one gq uk interview Will there be thousands of hate-filled boasts in the Twittersphere?
Boyega, who stars as King Ghezo at the box-office “Female King” talked to men’s magazine about everything: their post-“Star Wars” journey, debates about black British actors often portraying African American figures, engaging in direct activism in the summer of 2020, and more.
But his desire to date only black women turned into a discussion about double standards and priorities. a twitter user, @ada_akpalawhose bio says they are “not interested in playing the identity game,” wrote on the app, “if a white actor said they only date white women, their rights to have multiple ‘priorities’ Will not defend him. They will call him a racist.”
As many users rightly pointed out in the answers, white entertainers and celebrities don’t say so; they only Doing This. More and more, they use vague descriptions like “blonds and brunettes” and old euphemisms like “tall, dark and pretty”—and, more recently, “golden retriever vibes”—to describe their type. (we’ve seen it love island uk And many other reality dating shows, for god’s sake.)
Given that we live in a world where white femininity has always been on a pedestal, a black male celebrity made it clear that he wants to be loved and cherished. We – is refreshing – without insulting any other group in the process. What is always disappointing, yet not surprising, is the reaction to the Internet, a clear indication of the malaise prevalent in today’s society.
Professor at Northwestern University moya bailey coined the term “misoginoirin her 2008 dissertation. The term refers to the “specific intersection of racism and sexism that black women often face” and she notes it is “colloquial in all kinds of educational, cultural and casual settings is used in.”
In fact, Boyega’s discourse is a direct reflection of how people view black women and women. It signals that black women shouldn’t believe we deserve love and, rather, we should be grateful to be in the romantic dating pool, despite being toppled to the bottom by racist, misogynistic structures.
Historically, we have been hypersexualized and adulted, confined to objects solely for sexual pleasure. Black girls require “less protection and nurturing” and are perceived as “more knowledgeable about sex”. A 2017 University of Florida Levine College of Law Study Investigating violence against black women.
Then, there are black women at the other end of the pendulum. Mammals and maligned. The “mummy” caricature originates From the era of slavery and describes the fanatical black domestic servant who is a good-natured, “fat, fat, maternal figure”.
Too often, black women are thought to be devoid of any desire or longing for companionship. The hope is that we are working mules, saving the world around us, gleefully and earnestly, despite receiving minimal tangible benefits.
The conversation also doubles down on the racist notion that loving a black woman – loudly, openly and as she is – is immeasurable. It points to society’s inability to see black women as full human beings. We deserve to play you, your savior, your bride and groom, and your partner in crime, but never the bride.
Yet here Boyega is professing his love for us.
When it comes to desirability, whiteness and closeness to it are and still are considered the default. No one questions this. On dating apps, black women and Asian men were definitely the least in demand, NPR reported in 2018,
“But I found a lot of people who said, ‘I’ve never seen it that way. These choices I made, I didn’t even realize, my choice… just not my own choice. It’s not accidental.’ It is really a product of the environment we live in.'”
— Dating expert Damona Hoffman recalling feedback from readers
in an episode of “Therapy for Black Girls,” Atlanta-based therapist Joy Harden Bradford was joined by OK Cupid dating expert and “Dates and Mets” podcast host Damona Hoffman, a Black, Jewish, and biracial woman, to talk about online dating. Hoffman said that after an opinion article he wrote for Washington Post On dating preferences, she received hate mail but also insightful feedback from readers.
“But I found a lot of people who said, ‘I’ve never seen it that way. These choices I made, I didn’t even realize, my choices… just not my own choices,'” Hoffman said in the episode. “It’s not by chance. It is really a product of the environment we live in.'”
Hoffman also found that 52% of black women emphasized culture, ethnicity, and race as related to our identity, compared to a mere 36% of our black male counterparts, which influence how and who we are. partner with.
As noted by “Bachelor” franchise podcast host and actor Mikayla Bartholomew In conversation with NBC BLKbecause black women are driven to the bottom of the social hierarchy, “engaging in relationships is often about finding someone with whom you are compatible. Whereas, for black men, there is an assimilation to power. whatever they want.”
Since slavery and colonialism, white women have been idolized as the pinnacle of femininity. This is one of the many reasons why pew research center24% of black men are married to women outside their race, compared to only 12% of black women.
Let’s be clear: Date you want to date, but don’t defame black women in the process of explaining your reasoning for doing so. we often see Young Black Men on TikTokEncouraged by their peers in the comments, stereotypes of aggression, dominance and masculinity toward black women are credited as a means of protesting their blackness and refusing to date us.
We see countless black shirtless male celebrities with white wives and girlfriends in their arms; Taking off a white wife is still considered a sign of status for some, only later for black men. Realized that he wore antebellum clothes in a previous life. No views or racial analysis exist, just vibes, internalized racism and low self-esteem.
In the meantime, black women are expected to wait for our “Black King” and somehow uphold the institution of Black Love. Often black women are shamed for choosing their own happiness and dating outside their race. remember When Serena Williams, who apparently dated Common and Drake, married Alexis Ohanian? the same men on the internet who called her a beast Suddenly furious that his “Nubian Queen” married a white man.
While Boyega has been crucified, as he tweeted, “expressing his love for the cultural familiar,” white people, like as Robert De Niro“Love Is Blind” Star Cameron Hamilton And my personal favorite NFL tight end, Travis Kels, Really being applauded for dating black women like it’s naturally so progressive and a favor to us. On the Internet, White Boys Are Populating tiktok audio Such as this one – “If you’re a white guy and you love some black women, please use this sound…” – often just for choice, virginity, and a pat on the back.
Preferences are mainly characterized by socialization and upbringing and should Inquiry must be made, as colorism, fatphobia and queerphobia are rampant in our own community as well. and will sow Having said He “always thought that some reactions to preference would only occur if you underestimate other people when expressing what you like.”
You can’t compare Boyega’s comments to double standards when black women are not promoted on an equitable basis. If anything, the conversation sparks society’s acceptance of whiteness as a symbol of beauty.
The idea that it’s ridiculous for a black male celebrity to actually desire a black woman—and the idea that we deserve this kind of love—shouldn’t be as radical as the internet makes it. Yet the mental gymnastics that people employ to avoid saying the silent part out loud is mind boggling.
Instead, how you shut up: Your misogynoir is showing.